Excuse me ... IS THIS THING ON?!?!

You may not have noticed this, but I’m a bit of a loud talker. Quite frankly, most of my family is. However, as I raise my three children and interact with other kids from families with siblings, I realize my loud-talking tendencies are simply not my fault.

It seems there is this propensity for the second born children of the world to talk REALLY LOUDLY.

Why do you think this is? Well, let me tell you … we’re trying to find our voice. I’m sure of it. Time and time again I find myself reminding Audrey for instance to stop yelling; that we can hear her. And when middles or seconds come over for a play date I often spend much of my time reminding them to stop yelling as well. In fact, just this morning, the sweetest little thing, dainty and blond, sitting quite cutely in my back seat, out of the blue, screamed at the top of her lungs, “Turn it to #2!”

After jumping a little and smiling to myself, I accommodated. She wasn’t being rude; she was just trying to be heard over the chattering of the older kids in the car.

I blame this attribute on the first borns of the world, actually. Yep, you oldest kids out there with your non-stop blabbering, “ helpful directing,” and flat out bossing around of us youngers has yielded a whole slew of siblings who speak at higher-than-normal decibel levels.

Being the middle child myself, I am intrigued as I watch the stereotypical dynamics of birth order play out in my home. For instance, it goes without surprise that Saylah is bossy as all get out … and knows practically everything. Correction … everything. Isaac is spoiled … yes, already. And Audrey … well, she’s a bit of a feisty little firecracker. Quick to yell, scream or cry whenever something goes awry, I often have to remind myself to resist the urge to strangle her after her latest tirade ensues. Remembering that she’s probably been bottling up things for a while, waiting to get her turn to be heard, and she’s now frustrated and conditioned to communicate LOUDLY.

There are other dynamics with #2 that are entertaining as well. For example, I enjoy being the fly on the wall as I watch Audrey watch Saylah as Say discovers how to be funny, dance or try some new trick. First there’s wonder, then awe, then shortly after I can be sure Audrey will be trying it out too. Thankfully, Saylah is a good kid and mostly teaches her good things. ;) I chuckle to myself when I see Audrey at her peak of tolerance for Saylah trying to tell her yet again the ways of the world. And it’s heart-warming when I see her try to pass down her own “wisdom” to Isaac.

Audrey’s sibling order is molding her into one of the most interesting, challenging and loveable people I’ve yet to encounter in my life. She is passionate, both positively so and negatively so. She is dynamic and even flexible from time to time – playing with Saylah one moment then switching gears to play with Isaac the next. She gets frustrated easily but her patience level sometimes is inspiring when yet again she’s interrupted and waits quietly until she can get her words in. 

I’m embarrassed to admit that as a baby I actually thought Audrey was a quiet child. Then one day (when jabber box Saylah wasn’t around) I actually got the opportunity to talk without interruption to her. Oh wow. It was like a flurry of words had been bottled up. Once uncorked, she was bubbling over with things to share. These days, I’ve realized that when I spend quality one-on-one time with Audrey, on a consistent basis, her spirit is calmer and more content. Which is really what any parent wants.

So, it goes without saying, it can be tough being the middle kid. I for one always complained that I always got the chores the older was too old to do and the younger was too young to do. But honestly, it’s not all bad being second in the sibling order of life.

Audrey gets to learn from the older and teach the younger. She always has the option to be “Switzerland” in the event of a trio argument. And if one is playing a game she’s not interested in, she can always go and try to convince the other to play her game. Being in the middle means she’s closer to relating with all of her siblings and she’ll rarely be bored. When life’s challenges arise as a grown up, she can dole out the task of telling “mom and dad the news that they aren’t coming home for Christmas” to her older sister and she can advise her younger brother to call his parents to wish them Happy Anniversary without them being the wiser that he forgot.

As she navigates her second-born-ness she’s certain to be strong, creative and loving. And without a doubt, there will be no stopping her when she decides it’s her turn to be heard.